I received an email from a Catholic nun friend of mine. Here’s part of it, which I hope gets you laughing aloud as it did me:
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, ‘when I get to heaven I will ask Jonah’.
The teacher asked, ‘what if Jonah went to hell?’
The little girl replied, ‘then you ask him’.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, ‘I’m drawing God.’
The teacher paused and said, ‘but no one knows what God looks like.’
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, ‘they will in a minute.’
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, ‘why are some of your hairs white, Mom?’
Her mother replied, ‘well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.’
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, ‘Mommy, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?’
“I LIKE THE NEXT ONE IN PARTICULAR,” so wrote my friend.
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
‘Take only ONE. God is watching.’
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, ‘take all you want. God is watching the apples.’